My Idiot Boyfriend's Wildest Wish

Brazzers

Skylar Snow, Quinton James Pic(s)

My idiot boyfriend, Quinton, had the audacity to declare his wildest wish over a plate of cold pizza, a fantastical scenario he clearly believed was his for the taking. He envisioned a spontaneous weekend where the effortlessly cool Skylar Snow, a woman whose very name sounds like a celebrity, would just magically appear at our doorstep. According to his elaborate and utterly delusional daydream, Skylar would be so captivated by his charm that she’d insist on whisking us away in her convertible. He painted a vivid picture of the three of us driving down the coast with the top down, the wind whipping through our hair as we laughed without a care in the world. I just stared at him, utterly dumbfounded by the sheer scale of his ridiculous fantasy, which completely ignored our reality of a leaky faucet and a cat that needed its flea medication. Quinton James, the man who once got lost in our own neighborhood, truly believed he could navigate a whirlwind adventure with a woman who probably summers on private islands. He described us all staying in a lavish beach house, where Skylar would teach us the secret to her perfect, sun-kissed waves as if it were a life skill we desperately needed. The entire monologue was so profoundly absurd that I couldn’t even muster the energy to be angry, only a deep, resonating pity for his misplaced confidence. It was a wish born from a complete detachment from the mundane truths of our shared life, a life I quite like. I finally broke my silence, looked him dead in the eye, and told him that my wildest wish was for him to finally fix the garbage disposal.