My Ex's Crazy Car Wash Confession

Brazzers

Amirah Adara, Danny D Pic(s)

The afternoon sun was glinting off the hood of my old sedan when I saw him, Danny D, looking as out of place as a bull in a china shop, nervously clutching a dripping sponge. He was standing next to a car so pristine it looked like it had never seen a road, let alone a speck of dust. My initial shock at the coincidence quickly curdled into a familiar, weary amusement as he began to speak, his words tumbling out in a rushed, confessional torrent. He told me, with a startling lack of self-awareness, that he had developed an almost ritualistic obsession with washing his new girlfriend’s car every single Sunday. He described the process in painstaking detail, from the two-bucket method to the specific brand of pH-neutral shampoo he special-ordered from Germany. And then, with a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the world, he admitted the true catalyst for this bizarre compulsion was a memory of me, or more specifically, of us. He recounted a long-forgotten afternoon where I, much like the stunning Amirah Adara in that one film we’d watched, had playfully sprayed him with a garden hose in my driveway. The memory, he claimed, was seared into his brain, a perfect, sun-drenched moment of pure, unadulterated joy that he was now desperately trying to recapture with every pass of his microfiber towel. He looked at me then, his eyes pleading for some form of absolution or understanding for this elaborate, soapy tribute to our past. I simply shook my head, got in my car, and drove away, leaving him there with his buckets and his ghosts, realizing some confessions don’t cleanse the soul; they just make a mess of the present.