Brazzers
Jordan Ash, Brandy Aniston Pic(s)
The morning sun streamed into my pristine kitchen, promising a perfect day for my ambitious four-tiered wedding cake. My best friend, Jordan Ash, had arrived early, her meticulous nature a perfect counterbalance to my own creative chaos. We had just finished the final layer of vanilla bean sponge, a masterpiece of even layers and delicate crumb. The disaster began, as it often does, with a moment of pure distraction, courtesy of my other friend, the vivacious and perpetually dramatic Brandy Aniston. Bursting through the door with a flourish, she launched into a breathless story about her latest dating misadventure, her hands gesticulating wildly. In a single, horrifyingly slow-motion instant, her elaborately bejeweled clutch bag swung from her wrist and connected squarely with the side of my beautiful, un-iced creation. A collective gasp filled the room as the cake shuddered, then slumped into a tragic, lopsided ruin of crumbs and buttercream. Jordan stood frozen, a spatula of Swiss meringue poised in mid-air, her face a mask of silent, abject horror. Brandy’s hands flew to her mouth, her previous tale completely forgotten as she stammered out a stream of frantic, useless apologies. My own heart sank as I stared at the culinary crime scene, the phrase “the icing on my cake” taking on a bitterly ironic new meaning. Our perfect project was now a complete and utter catastrophe, a monument to good intentions and spectacularly bad luck.
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