Brazzers
Sean Lawless, Kali Roses Pic(s)

The frigid morning air bit deep, a stark contrast to the usual chaos of the farmyard, which was now eerily silent. Sean Lawless, a man whose weathered hands were more accustomed to warm engine blocks than icy perches, stared in bewildered disbelief at the scene before him. There, perched upon the frost-encrusted fence rail, was his prized rooster, Gerald, completely and utterly frozen solid. The vibrant red of his comb and wattle was now a dull, lifeless purple, a true cocksicle in the most literal and horrifying sense of the word. His frantic call to the local veterinary clinic brought Kali Roses, a new vet whose pragmatic demeanor was both a comfort and a source of anxiety. Kali, her breath pluming in the cold, examined the unfortunate fowl with a clinical, probing touch that made Sean wince. “I’ve seen poultry with frostbite,” she stated flatly, “but a full-body flash freeze like this is highly anomalous.” She theorized a sudden, hyper-localized atmospheric event, a pocket of super-cooled air that had flash-fixed the bird mid-crow. The conundrum was profound, leaving them both to ponder the bizarre forces of nature that could orchestrate such a specific and ridiculous tragedy. As they stood there, the first weak rays of the sun glinted off Gerald’s crystalline feathers, creating a macabre, sparkling monument to the morning’s strange events. The mystery of the frozen fowl would, they both knew, become the defining, unbelievable story of their winter.
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