First Date Follies with Johnny & Michelle

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Johnny Sins, Michelle Lay Pic(s)

The air in the cozy cafe hummed with the low murmur of other patrons, a stark contrast to the deafening silence at our table where Johnny and Michelle sat for their first, and likely last, date. Michelle nervously traced the rim of her wine glass, her eyes darting anywhere but towards Johnny, who sat with the rigid posture of a man awaiting a root canal. He had arrived with the confident swagger of a seasoned professional, but his charm had evaporated faster than the espresso steam from the machine, leaving only awkward small talk about the unseasonable humidity. Desperate to break the ice, Johnny launched into a long, unnecessarily detailed story about his day, which seemed to involve an improbable number of high-stakes scenarios and costume changes. Michelle offered a tight-lipped smile, her mind clearly screaming for an escape hatch as she subtly checked the time on her phone for the third time in two minutes. A well-meaning waiter then appeared, asking if they were ready to order, a simple question that somehow triggered a five-minute debate between them over the merits of aioli versus traditional mayonnaise. The tragic climax arrived when Johnny, attempting to be chivalrous, reached for his water glass just as Michelle reached for the salt, resulting in a spectacular collision that drenched the tablecloth. A single, sorrowful piece of iceberg lettuce now clung to Johnny’s sleeve like a flag of surrender, symbolizing the entire disastrous evening. Michelle finally muttered something about a forgotten, critically important appointment involving her pet fish and began gathering her things with frantic haste. They parted ways on the sidewalk with a wave that was more of a dismissal, both knowing they would gladly never repeat this particular folly again.

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Johnny Sins, Michelle Lay Pic(s)

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